2001: A Space Odyssey might be the worst film ever made. It’s certainly the worst film I’ve ever seen, and what’s truly baffling is how popular this abomination is. I can forgive Kubrick for making a bad film, we all make mistakes. I can even forgive him for making a niche and unusual film, not everything has to have broad appeal. Yet, this film is universally recognised as a science fiction classic and ruthlessly defended by its pretentious fanboys. Therefore, as a science fiction fan myself, let me extend an olive branch of hate to you all.
If I was tasked with creating hell, I would create three circles, one for each of this film’s defenders. The first circle would be for fans of 2001: A Space Odyssey who accuse those of us who aren’t fans of ‘just not getting it’. I hate to tell you this (I don’t) but there is nothing to get. Most of what people think of as the ‘meaning’ of this film is just the plot, which is left aggressively ambiguous. It’s not even that complicated, the evolution of man with some extra-terrestrial influence.
I have a theory that some people struggle so much with the plot that they become sanctimonious defenders of this film as a defence mechanism. Unfortunately, just because you had to re-watch 2001 and read The Sentinel to figure it out doesn’t make it the films meaning. The meaning of a film is not meant to be a mystery, it’s a deliberate message the filmmaker is telling. 2001 is just too vague, too empty to have a meaning. You might think there’s something else going on, and you’re of course free to interpret this film however you want, but I would remind you that you can interpret anything in any way and it still wouldn’t be the point.
The second circle would be for fans of 2001 who believe resolutely that it is not a slow film. They declare confidently that ‘modern films and social media have ruined our attention spans’ and that this film is ‘not a Michael Bay action blockbuster’. Well, they’re right. 2001 is not slow, it’s glacial. This film takes a perverse pleasure in not going anywhere. There’s no dialogue in the first 25 or the last 23 minutes of the film. In fact, 88 minutes out of its total 142-minute run time has no dialogue. That’s not to say a film has to be all dialogue, but to put that into perspective the movie Airplane! only has an 87-minute run time. That means you could fit the entirety of Airplane! Into the dialogue free scenes of 2001: A Space Odyssey, and then you would still have to watch another HOUR of 2001: A Space Odyssey. I’ve heard 2001 described as like a virtual book, but books have words. It’s more like a blank piece of paper that takes you hostage for two hours, and some of you have succumbed to Stockholm syndrome.
The third and final circle would be for those who defend this film as having done something great for science fiction with it’s epic visuals and orchestral soundtrack. While it is true that this film did elevate the image of science fiction in many people eyes, and it is certainly a very artistic film with some beautiful shots, it is difficult for me to describe it as science fiction. Quite simply, this film lacks humanity. It’s set in space, but I get nothing from it. Science fiction tells stories about the human condition, it can be set in the future, but it’s done for the here and now. The characters in 2001 say nothing meaningful and nothing of any importance happens. I can accept people appreciating 2001: A Space Odyssey as art, in the same way one might enjoy an art gallery, but not as science fiction.
Adam Loves SciFi 